Usually a few weeks or even a few months of lowered grades or complaints about not fitting in after a move are nothing to worry about. If a child is still having difficulty adjusting to a new school after six months, that’s probably a sign of a more serious problem that requires professional help.
So what can you do if there’s a move in your future? Here are some suggestions:
# As moving day approaches, reassure toddlers and even preschoolers that they will be coming along with their parents on the move. A surprising number of young children see their family’s possessions being boxed, sold, or thrown out, and wonder they will suffer the same fate.
# Put off redecorating your children’s new rooms for a few months unless they ask you to. Having the old furniture arrangement is like taking a security blanket. It eases the transition to the many other new things they are facing.
# Pay attention to the ways the design of your new home influences how you spend time with your children. The increased privacy of a larger house can sometimes make it harder for children to adjust. The new home may not have the same type of central family gathering place, such as a combination kitchen and dining area, as the old one. You may not realize you’re not spending as much time together as a family as you used to.
# This problem may be compounded if family members have different schedules from those they had before, so that it’s more difficult to eat dinner together. For the first few months after a move it’s often useful to schedule family meetings or other all-family events as a way of maintaining lines of communication.
# Ask the school to arrange for a "buddy" in the same grade who can show each of your children around the school for the first week or so. This gives your children a kind of temporary membership in a social group and alleviates a lot of stress while they try to figure out where they fit in.
# If it’s at all possible for one of the parents to delay returning to work for a few weeks, do so. Knowing that Mom or Dad will be at home if she or he is needed may make some of the changes your children face appear less threatening.
# Following a divorce or the death of a spouse some parents move for emotional rather than financial reasons. In those situations, if you can at all keep from moving, don’t move. It’s often too much for the children to cope with. The children may need to keep some of the memories you’re trying to leave behind.
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So what can you do if there’s a move in your future? Here are some suggestions:
# As moving day approaches, reassure toddlers and even preschoolers that they will be coming along with their parents on the move. A surprising number of young children see their family’s possessions being boxed, sold, or thrown out, and wonder they will suffer the same fate.
# Put off redecorating your children’s new rooms for a few months unless they ask you to. Having the old furniture arrangement is like taking a security blanket. It eases the transition to the many other new things they are facing.
# Pay attention to the ways the design of your new home influences how you spend time with your children. The increased privacy of a larger house can sometimes make it harder for children to adjust. The new home may not have the same type of central family gathering place, such as a combination kitchen and dining area, as the old one. You may not realize you’re not spending as much time together as a family as you used to.
# This problem may be compounded if family members have different schedules from those they had before, so that it’s more difficult to eat dinner together. For the first few months after a move it’s often useful to schedule family meetings or other all-family events as a way of maintaining lines of communication.
# Ask the school to arrange for a "buddy" in the same grade who can show each of your children around the school for the first week or so. This gives your children a kind of temporary membership in a social group and alleviates a lot of stress while they try to figure out where they fit in.
# If it’s at all possible for one of the parents to delay returning to work for a few weeks, do so. Knowing that Mom or Dad will be at home if she or he is needed may make some of the changes your children face appear less threatening.
# Following a divorce or the death of a spouse some parents move for emotional rather than financial reasons. In those situations, if you can at all keep from moving, don’t move. It’s often too much for the children to cope with. The children may need to keep some of the memories you’re trying to leave behind.